Good Friday

Dear Jesus,

I can't stop thinking about You right now. I confess that I don't always think about You or Your Word or other people before myself. Forgive me of the sins of self-centeredness and idolatry.

I think about You in the Garden of Gethsemane and how lonely You must of been there. Everyone abandoned You. You were betrayed with a kiss from one of Your disciples into the hands of the man who had the power to release You from Your death, and yet You said nothing.

Do I not do the same to You today? I bless You and curse You with the same mouth.

I think about how humble You are and how I could never live up to this Christian life I live without You and the power You give me. I do too many things on my own, but if You can endure all that You did on the Cross, I know You can do ALL things. I need to surrender and let go and stop doing all these things on my own accord.

Some un-believers say that I'm brainwashed in what I believe about You and Christianity, and my prayer is that You will reveal Yourself to them like You revealed Yourself to me. I once hated You, but little by little, You softened my heart and showed me that this world has nothing to offer me and now I love You. I know some people don't understand why I believe in You, but I truly believe everything written about You in the Bible. I believe that You are the Son of God. I believe that You died on the Cross. I believe that everyone who repents of their sins wholeheartedly and calls on Your Name, Jesus, that they will inherit eternal life.

There is so much more that happens after this declaration of believing in You. There comes a beautiful relationship, that depends on the believer. The kind of relationship that You will never have with any mortal person. Yes, if you choose to believe in Jesus, some people will hate you, even your own family, and some of your friends will leave your side, but it is written that this will happen.

Jesus, I can't fathom many mysteries of God myself, and I believe many will be revealed upon Your return. What I do know, is that for now, I will continue to believe in You regardless of persecution.

I need You to help me in this life. It is not easy living for You. Everything written in Your word about how to live goes against my human nature. Ibattle daily with my flesh and my spirit. Some people will simply not believe because they can't live up to being a Christian and what it means. Who can live up to perfection? It is not about being "perfect", it is about TRUTH and doing what is right. It is not about feelings, it is about TRUTH.

Jesus, You have taught me so many things, and I want to learn more. Help me, and forgive me for not standing up to Your Truth because of fear: fear of persecution, fear of not knowing what to say, fear of rejection, fear of failure, etc. Help me to stand firm in the Word and Truth. Help my fellow believing family. Most of all, help my unbelieving family and friends.

Help me to live out what Your Word says we are to live. I'm not tying to be perfect. I'm trying to be LIKE YOU, even though I know I will never BE YOU. Help me to be a witness and convict me when I fail You and deserve to be called "a hypocrite."

I can NEVER BE THANKFUL ENOUGH for everything You have done, do everyday for me, and will do through me by the power of Your Holy Spirit. You leave me breathless and in awe. What else can I say, Jesus??? Sometimes all I can say is I love You.

Your daughter forever,
Shanna